When its 5am and I can't sleep, bringing the laptop out and writing blog posts seems the be the way forward. I suppose it doesn't matter what time they get written at as long as they aren't terrible. I might even find my writing is better when my brain should actually be sleeping haha.
I was frustrating myself not being able to get to sleep this morning as I felt so exhausted and was having one of them 'why body? just why' kinda moments. Once I realised there was no hope in getting back to sleep I took to the internet and looked at reasons for not being able to sleep, as it seems to be happening at lot recently.
I first thing that came up and kept being repeated was stress. Are you under a lot of stress? are you worrying about anything? do you have any anxiety feelings? which sort of rung alarm bells when I thought about it and plus nothing else made a lot of sense. There are other reasons though like a medication you are taking could keep you up; Traumatic experience; Health problems; the environment your sleeping in and may other things.
Although I haven't felt to stressed recently or felt my anxiety being to bad or not had to much to be worried about, it is something that is always in the back of my mind and maybe has been there I just haven't felt it as much. I am a very anxious person and I seem to worry about everything and nothing at all.
I suppose there has been worry and stress over sorting everything out to go to university (which am still no where near sorted for), my mum has been away leaving me on my own which always makes me slightly anxious. Work worry. Anxious about leaving home and even the though of 'is university even right for me? am I ready? this that where I wanna be, a million miles away from home?' and then probably even stupid teenager worriers that I don't even know what they are haha.
None the less they are more subconscious worries but there then and when asleep they are brought to the surface and my brain seems to go into over drive thinking and then over thinking about everything and anything. It has just started to rain though (Typical Cumbria) and I can hear the rain shower on the roof top, as my room is in the attic, which Is one of my favourite sounds and I could listen to all day.
I suppose its a blessing and curse not being able to sleep but sometimes its good to think and theres something about the silence, knowing that everyone is asleep, very peaceful especially with the sound of rain drops.
Are you having difficulty sleeping to?
Plain Jayne x
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